And look: we select for traits when we breed, and as humans who control the breeding destinies of our animals, we are obviously creating what we want, and I know that the term eugenics doesn’t quite apply in the same way. The Conquistador fanboying also leads quite nicely into the other theme of the book: equine eugenics. Pitch’s eyes were bright as he went on excitedly, “From here, Steve, those infamous Conquistadores, men like Cortés, Pizarro and Balboa, may have selected their armies, their horses, guns and provisions, and set forth to plunder the Incas and the Aztecs of their gold!” They both think the Conquistadors are, like, history’s greatest unsung adventuring heroes instead of rapey, pillaging douchebags.

Steve & Pitch set off for Azul Island, a trip that mostly consists of Pitch whining about what a greenhorn he is and the two of them talking rapturously about the Conquistadors. This is one of their very first interactions after being apart for several years. Let me give you a taste of how weird Steve & Pitch’s interactions with. In fifty more years, Tom is going to be hanging around internet forums posting Pepe memes and calling people cucks. It’s not clear why he thinks Steve can’t hack it, other than he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t think anyone is competent at anything. Here, read about it if you want to get (even more) depressed.Īnyway, Tom is a dick, but he at least has a well-defined character and a narrative purpose in the arc, because he thinks Steve’s proposal to spend two weeks camping on Azul Island is dumb and he tells Steve that if he can hack it for two weeks he can have any horse he wants. Before we even go on can I just say that at no point does anyone in this book grapple with or even mention the history of brutal conquest and slavery that was the Caribbean sugar industry? Yeah.

Steve is arriving to spend a few weeks with his childhood friend and next door neighbor Pitch, who has moved to the island of Antago to live with his older stepbrother, Tom, who owns a sugar cane plantation.

Can I admit that I was kind of hoping they would be in the middle of a landmass in, like, Asia?

The Island Stallion by Walter Farley